Getting my deceased mum's Apple ID information

By Dominic, 2 September, 2023

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Is there any chance that I could do this

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By Andy Lane on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I really hope everything is ok but I’m going to assume it is for now. If she’s still ok then you can do this https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2021/12/13/how-to-set-up-apple-account-access-so-people-can-get-in-after-you-die.html

If something has happened or I’ve misunderstood then this might be helpful. Basically you can get a court order. https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT208510#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20a%20Legacy,account%20after%20they%20pass%20away.

Good Luck and again, I hope everything is okay.

By Brad on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Are you sure you meant deceased? If so, I hope you have family you can stay with.

I'm sorry I can't help any more than that.

By David Goodwin on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic shared the heartbreaking news of his mother's passing last week here on the forum.

I know that we will all be truly saddened to hear about Dominic's loss and that our thoughts and heartfelt condolences go out to him and his family during this incredibly difficult time. Please know that our community is here for you, Dominic, and we're sending our best wishes and strength your way.

By Andy Lane on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I hope you are getting proper support. It must be a terrible time for you. I’m not sure an app is the way to deal with grief. Thats definitely something people are better for. Are you getting help from anyone yet? The second link I sent you might be able to help then but it depends on Apple being involved.

Again I’m so sorry for your loss Dominic.

By Brad on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I hope you have what you need to push through this. Theropy might help if you can get it. I'm not someone who likes making many friends but there are people on here who would like to do that kind of thing if you need it.

By Siobhan on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I may say a lot of things, but this is honestly one of my most heartfelt posts. You shouldn't ever have a Mom who is no longer with us so young. I now regret sheepishly asking you to have her take you to an apple store. For that i am exceptionally sorry. Stay strong even though it will be a beast getting through this.

By David Goodwin on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

This Apple support article explains how to request access to or delete someone’s Apple ID and the data stored with it after they have passed away.:

How to request access to a deceased family member’s Apple account

Please be aware that due to legal and security considerations, this process is rather complex. As you are a minor, it is likely that an adult will need to oversee this procedure. I recommend that you ask the person responsible for managing your mother's estate to take care of this for you, as handling this task might feel overwhelming during such a challenging time.

Take care of yourself, Dominic, and stay strong during this difficult period.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

You all don’t know how much this helps. Thank you everyone for the support.. You do not know, how much distance to me.

By Andy Lane on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I’m so relieved to see your reply. If you have a look at the other thread about finding an app to stay calm, theres some suggestions but sometimes being calm isn’t the most important thing. Everyone talks about meditation and ways to deal with anxiety and I do too but this early, after just losing your mum what I think you need is people to talk to. Calming and meditation apps generally help you slow down and come out of traumatic states and into more sedate states. Right now though sedate might not be what you need the most. Human connection and the ability to grieve your terrible loss will probably help you a lot more. Have you got people around who can help with that? Maybe getting some therapy to help you through the next few months would be helpful. I’d imagine that kind of thing would be easily accessible in Australia. Could you talk to the people caring for you about it? Lastly, a huge hug from me. I lost my Dad really early too, It’s not something you should have had to go through so early. You’ve seen from the 2 threads that people are here for you.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Original comment has been removed by moderators to safeguard the privacy and security of the poster.

By Siobhan on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic, you're in the first stage of grief and it ain't pretty. I couldn't really understand most of your post, except the part where you wanted to keep your Mum's Jewelry. Wish I had some of that, I only have a bracelet, no wedding ring etc. Remember though that as her things are being donated, like her car, or clothing or hate to say it, even technology, it isn't letting her go. she'll always be with you. I'll be a bit honest here and say it freaked me out as she was only a year younger then I am. I agree talking to people would help, least of all, we can help you better then a post like the one you have written. I am pretty sure there is free therapy online, I don't know any off hand though. Right now, try to take some time to understand everyone's here for you even your Dad though it seems rushed and painful. Take each minute at a time, forget day at a time. also, no one can tell you how to grieve. You might punch holes in the wall, don't please, or you might cry for hours on end. Your grief is your own process. Don't let anyone tell you how to do your own path. I'll finish by saying, Your Mum will want you go on as best you can. If you don't have your cousin's phone, she'll still be with you always. Remember that technology will always change but your Mum's affection for you won't.

By Brad on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

It won't be easy, housing is expencive everyware these days, but if you cna do it then that will be good.

If your dad doesn't let you have the phone, try to remember your mum in other ways, food she liked, music, that kind of stuff.

By Siobhan on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic, I get it to some extent. My Dad never remarried, but I don't care for one of my brother's ladies who I just, don't like. I can still be civil. Maybe if you do have Autism, or there is another issue going on, and you and your family figure it out, it can bring you together. If it doesn't I'm sorry but you have four years of this to deal with, so being as polite and civil as possible wins out. Yes, if you can leave when 18 then I'd do so. Brad's right. Music, fave food, just think. did you like going for a ride? Did you like when she took you for lunch at Chillies? Or whatever? That's the main thing. Unfortunately you are so upset, valid, you can't get a grip yet. It's absolutely ok. As I said, one minute at a time. I meant, btw, Brad's right, rent is sky high in about everywhere.

By Brad on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

You seam to be feeling a little better to put all those signs and have a bit of fun. You're gonna get through this mate, I might nag at you like an old english teacher about spellling but we all care alright, you got this mate.

Try to keep smiling even when you feel like shit, not because feeling shit isn't allowed but because trying to remain as happy as you can is good and means you can't get depressed as easily.

By kool_turk on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

First of all, my condolences.

I lost an uncle recently, and I know it's not the same.

There are times when I think he isn't gone, but I know he is.

We used to have a Chili's apparently, but that's news to me.

I've never heard of them being here in Australia.

They closed in 2004 because of poor sales.

I just looked it up.

The things you learn from this place.

When I want to look up something, I quickly fire up the Perplexity app and type my question.

If only they could fix the search using the voice option.

Sometimes I just want to dictate my messages too, but the only way I find a good result to do that lately is to dictate into the Chat GPT app.

Don't hit send, just dictate into the app using its own dictation, not Apple's, select the text, and paste it into whatever app you want.

It isn't perfect, but it gets the job done, most of the time.

And no, I didn't dictate this; I typed it out in Notepad and asked Chat GPT to clean up any typos.

By Siobhan on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

It doesn't really matter what the place your Mum liked to go, was my original point. :) Yeah I didn't understand all of that post either. Just get through this second by second.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Original comment has been removed by moderators to safeguard the privacy and security of the poster.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Original comment has been removed by moderators to safeguard the privacy and security of the poster.

By David Goodwin on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I've been deeply moved by the outpouring of support from our community for Dominic.

While our community is filled with kind people, I've felt it appropriate to reach out privately to Dominic to remind him that we are a public platform where anyone can view what he shares and to gently suggest that he be mindful of how much personal or identifying information he posts here.

I want to emphasise that my message to Dominic is not related to AppleVis posting guidelines. It's purely an expression of our genuine concern for his well-being and a gentle reminder about the potential consequences of oversharing in a public setting. While we would like to assume positive intent from all readers, the reality is that we cannot guarantee it. Sharing personal information on a public platform can have real-life consequences, including the possibility that people he knows personally might stumble upon his posts. Therefore, I've asked Dominic to consider how anything he posts here might affect his offline relationships.

With this in mind, I kindly request that we all refrain from comments that might encourage Dominic to disclose information that is best kept private. With your understanding and support, we can continue offering our support while safeguarding his privacy and well-being.

Thank you all for your consideration and support.

* I've edited some of Dominic's earlier replies in order to safeguard his privacy and security.

By Siobhan on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

You know, I had the impulse to say something but wasn't going to on here, as i didn't want to single him out. I honestly don't know if he just didn't realize what he said, or felt he should say such things. You're right though. I would not ever be a person to subject anyone to misusing their information, because I've helped out a person before with disabilities and chose a simple password so I didn't have their information but a year later whenI asked if they had changed their password, they had not. You did good looking after him. Sorry for the runon sentence. Oops? :)

By Andy Lane on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

I wonder if it would be worth removing those posts that could be used to make Dominic more vulnerable? Great that you’re looking out for his safety.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

This is so excellent. I’ve had over 75 people, both on the side and off, whether it be for a text, message, or Facebook, send their condolences to me.
First time I ever get to go to an orthodontist funeral. It’s going to be really interesting. Smiley.
Also Dennis, I tried sending you an iMessage with the email address you gave me. But as soon as I sent it, it’s giving me the little send failure button.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

So the comments strangely went down some 30 comments to 29 comments and it says they’re free new comments if not, I can’t see any. Is this website glitching or something?

By Siobhan on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic, I haven't looked yet, but someone helpfully suggested your comments about your financial stuff be removed, so that you are kept safe. That might be the reason why. Also if you wanna iMessage me, i'll put it on a separate line.
siobhan.m@me.com go ahead and chat away. I might be busy but i'll do my best.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

They haven’t been removed, not on my end anyway. I don’t know what this website was having for breakfast, but I think your little too excited, Website. Drink some water, you need to calm down. Stop being overhyped, LOL

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Siobhan I sent you an iMessage and it went through correctly. But when I tried sending a message to Dennis, it had detected it was an iMessage but it wouldn’t send correctly. What’s going on with my iPad I wonder

By David Goodwin on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic,

I've taken what I believe are the appropriate steps to ensure your privacy and security by editing some of your previous comments in this thread. If you scroll back through the discussion, you'll notice that these comments now display the following message: "Original comment has been removed by moderators to safeguard the privacy and security of the poster."

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Cool. I’m still trying to figure out my iMessage problem though

By Brian on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Just a thought, but it could be failing to send messages because said person has their iMessage setup to not allow iMessages through emails.

HTH.

By Dennis Long on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

if you don't turn email on people can't use your email now can they? I did a reset and forgot to reenable it it is fixed. try again.

By Bingo Little on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic, I am very sorry indeed to hear of your loss, and sorrier that I did not see the news when first you shared it. Take care and God bless.

By Dominic on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Thank you

By Holger Fiallo on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

If you are over 16 you can emancipate. However you will need The place to stay and help you. Thing like this I read in Mr. redder. Good luck.

By Brad on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

But you need to be sure your friends family is ok with it.

The thing is, if asked, your step mother will probably say it's just to make sure you're safe. There's a fine line between making sure someone is safe and nagging them though.

Also, you know you might have to pay loyer fees if it comes to that, right?

By Panais on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

It is very very difficult to deal with what you’re facing on your own. Also always keep in mind, that at your young age, things that you might take for granted, couldn’t be further from the truth. I won’t go into detail on this one because I’m not an expert, but in a few words what I mean is that when I was 15, my parents used to tell me stuff, that at the time, seemed totally ridiculous to me. Now however, at the age of 35, those things that seemed totally ridiculous to my 15 year old self, now have been revealed to be fundamental truths.
Furthermore if you told to my 15 year old self that he will write this comment in 20 years, he would tell you that you are the biggest fool in the world, that you don’t know what you’re talking about and that he knew better and knew it all.
Bottom line young Dominic, call the hotline’s Brad provided you with. Do not rely on us in order to deal with your situation, we on this forum, don’t have a clue about what we are talking. do not take advice on this serious matter from your young friends. They also don’t know what they are talking about. By all means talk to your friends, but do not act on their suggestions.
Just remember that half way around the world, there is a soul that weeps along yours my young friend.

By Andy Lane on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dominic I agree you need some professional help navigating especially the next few months. No rash decisions right now. I know it won’t make much sense to you right now because you’re so young and you’ve just been through something you absolutely shouldn’t have had to go through at your age. On Applevis, there are many people who want to help you and have a lot of empathy for your situation I’m one of them. The problem is, we’re all a long way away and don’t know exactly whats going on. Thats why you need some professionals involved. You are just too young to be making important decisions, you have so much to be dealing with already with losing your mum. Remember when you’re young, you think you have the answers but often things are a lot more complicated than you know. Maybe stick with the counselling it sounded like you were having. That would be a great start because you’d be speaking to an adult who is responsible and understands your situation. Remember, the relationships you’ve got with the people around you will keep you safe. Try to value those relationships as much as you can. As you grow, you’ll realise how important they are.

By Brad on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Keep those you care about close yes but those who truly annoy you, stay away from.

My grandparents took me in when I was around 7, maybe 8, and threw out my entire life; my grandad has been virbally abusive at times, he has his ok days/weeks/ months/ but those ok times do not mean I'm in a situation I truly enjoy.

I live here because housing is very expencive and I don't have the money to move out. A lot of people will say things like, but they're your family, every family argues, and shit like that to justify this crap and i'm hear to tell you it's exactly that; crap.

My honest advice would be to move to your friends house, if your friends family allows it, then if you want to go back, then go for it.

By Andy Lane on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Giving advice that could set someone’s course of action when we might not know everything could be dangerous. I very much hope Dominic has people around who care and have his best interests at heart. Failing that, I hope professionals are involved. I’m really sorry to hear about your experience Brad but we have to be really careful not to try to exorcise our own demons through our advice to others when we might not know everything we need to. It might be a similar situation to yours in which case your advice would be great however it might be a lot more complicated and need a more delicate and understanding approach by competent professionals who know much more than we can on this forum.

By David Goodwin on Thursday, September 21, 2023 - 21:17

Dear community,

We want to thank everyone again for the kindness and support you have shown Dominic during this difficult time. However, after further consideration, we have decided it is in Dominic's best interests to now close comments on this thread.

While we know people's intentions are good, Dominic sharing deeply personal details in a public forum like this has the potential for unintended consequences. As moderators, we feel a responsibility to protect his privacy, security, and wellbeing.

For his own safety and privacy, we think it best that Dominic now seek support from those closest to him who know his personal situation and can thus provide appropriate advice and support.

We know this is a difficult decision, but believe it is necessary to protect Dominic's privacy and wellbeing.

We understand this may disappoint some community members, but we feel it is the right thing to do for Dominic's wellbeing. We hope you understand our reasoning here and will join us in wishing Dominic all the best.

Thank you all for understanding.